Thank you for this. It is important to remind ourselves that thoughtfulness, honesty, humility and curiosity are always the best way to create true dialogue and community.
Thank-you for this. I read parts of me in your critique, things I need to work on moving forward. Communicating is a difficult task. That misstep of attempting a snappy comeback, of trying to formulate a response while not listening to what is said. The falling to mud of drama instead of community.
My despair often comes from the reality that we live in an attention economy, and the better angels you’re appealing to are losers in that attention economy.
Beyond that, we’re living in different realities. What you see on your screens is different from what I see on my screens and yours are lying to you while mine are telling the truth.
My question is, are we waking up to the fact that this fragmented algorithmic media environment and economy is unsustainable? Or is the genie out of the bottle and we need to campaign (as you’re doing here) for our better angels to prevail in an environment that’s stacked against them?
My hope is we realize how damaging this dopamine addiction to our algorithms and misinformation is as I think we have all experienced seeing a friend or family member be consumed by it. But even though that’s a near-universal experience to everyone, we likely blame their “tribe” and not the conditions that fueled them there. It’s like we’re realizing that cigarettes are causing cancer and focusing our blame on Marlboro for their marketing and praising Camel for having a healthier filter.
Hi Alex. You hit the nail on the head. Outrage sells (or generate clicks). Online arguments are like episodes of "reality" TV and people want to watch the drama. That might be entertaining, but it's not how to move the conversation (or solutions) forward. This is further exacerbated by the fact that a person can easily find confirmation bias to support wherever they're coming from, often dished up by technology platforms that aren't seeking to provide answers, but capture engagement. This is all incredibly concerning for the health of democracy.
I think younger generations and future generations will need to find ways to deal with this and understand it's effect. I think those who are already polarized due to the factors that you mentioned are unlikely to un-trench (the opposite of entrenched? Is that a word?) themselves.
At the same time, the people trying to make a difference need to level up their communication skills and share why they're doing what they're doing. That still won't be enough for those most entrenched. But we have to keep moving forward, even if it's at a crawl.
No easy answers to be found here, just hard work to keep pursuing!
Thank you Danny! This piece is like a light bulb. I am excited to discover "Clallam County Solutions" and look forward to more of it. Here's to building Community!
Thank you, so, much! I also read parts of me. I guess I'm not so alone when others also see themselves! Thank you for putting "community building" into clear words!
I'm copy and pasting validating quotes from your piece that spoke directly to me. This is all so well written and authentic. These statements really hit "home runs" for me.
"when someone makes a good-faith effort to explain or clarify and is met not with thoughtful engagement, but with sarcasm, suspicion, and shifting accusations, something valuable is lost."
"Because the deeper threat isn’t just in the spread of blatantly false information, it’s in the erosion of our willingness to believe that honest people still exist."
(My Sequim Pioneer mentors taught me this. We always gave credit for our work to everyone. Meanwhile, we showed appreciation and rewarded those among us who lead us or enabled our success, whatever, that sucess looked like.) :
"Integrity isn’t performative. It doesn’t depend on whether others acknowledge it. It exists in the quiet spaces—when no one is watching, when no one’s clapping, when you choose to do the right thing because it’s right, not because it will be recognized."
(THANK YOU⬆️)
"But it starts with a choice: to see other people not as enemies to outmaneuver, but as neighbors worth listening to—even when we don’t agree."
"That’s the discipline of integrity: not defending it at every turn, but living it consistently enough that it speaks for itself."
"And sometimes, your words are never heard at all, they’re just repurposed to play a part you never agreed to."
"Sometimes, there’s more integrity in letting silence hold the line than in explaining yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding."
"Worse still, we begin to punish sincerity. We mock compassion. We treat humility as weakness and mistake caution for deception. And slowly, the people who were trying to do good—imperfectly, but honestly—start to step back. They get quieter. They get tired."
"Hope isn’t naïve. It’s courageous and it’s the well from which change springs. It’s a conscious choice to keep believing in the value of community, the possibility of progress, and the quiet power of integrity—especially when the easy path would be retreat."
"the health of a community is shaped in part by how we treat those who are trying. Not those who claim certainty in every answer, but those who keep showing up—even when it’s messy—because they care enough to try."
Thanks so much for reading! This article truly came from the heart, and I'm so thankful that it's resonated with so many people. There's a lot of work to be done in our community, and it takes people willing to jump in and put for the effort. Sometimes it's very rewarding, other times its taxing. But it's always worth it in the end.
Oh, that video is of a performative attack on Sarah McBride for social media clicks in 2019. So, disappointed I posted the wrong link. Here's the interview I meant to post that reflects your words. This was posted 3 days ago. https://youtu.be/KlbNFsAGFRc?si=T46Ewk0jiI--DV5X
Thank you for this. It is important to remind ourselves that thoughtfulness, honesty, humility and curiosity are always the best way to create true dialogue and community.
Thank you, Patrice. It's not always easy, but I agree, it's the best way forward. Thank you for your support!
Thank-you for this. I read parts of me in your critique, things I need to work on moving forward. Communicating is a difficult task. That misstep of attempting a snappy comeback, of trying to formulate a response while not listening to what is said. The falling to mud of drama instead of community.
Thanks James! It is indeed, and it's always a work in progress. I'm glad you took something away from the article!
Well said Danny!
My despair often comes from the reality that we live in an attention economy, and the better angels you’re appealing to are losers in that attention economy.
Beyond that, we’re living in different realities. What you see on your screens is different from what I see on my screens and yours are lying to you while mine are telling the truth.
My question is, are we waking up to the fact that this fragmented algorithmic media environment and economy is unsustainable? Or is the genie out of the bottle and we need to campaign (as you’re doing here) for our better angels to prevail in an environment that’s stacked against them?
My hope is we realize how damaging this dopamine addiction to our algorithms and misinformation is as I think we have all experienced seeing a friend or family member be consumed by it. But even though that’s a near-universal experience to everyone, we likely blame their “tribe” and not the conditions that fueled them there. It’s like we’re realizing that cigarettes are causing cancer and focusing our blame on Marlboro for their marketing and praising Camel for having a healthier filter.
Hi Alex. You hit the nail on the head. Outrage sells (or generate clicks). Online arguments are like episodes of "reality" TV and people want to watch the drama. That might be entertaining, but it's not how to move the conversation (or solutions) forward. This is further exacerbated by the fact that a person can easily find confirmation bias to support wherever they're coming from, often dished up by technology platforms that aren't seeking to provide answers, but capture engagement. This is all incredibly concerning for the health of democracy.
I think younger generations and future generations will need to find ways to deal with this and understand it's effect. I think those who are already polarized due to the factors that you mentioned are unlikely to un-trench (the opposite of entrenched? Is that a word?) themselves.
At the same time, the people trying to make a difference need to level up their communication skills and share why they're doing what they're doing. That still won't be enough for those most entrenched. But we have to keep moving forward, even if it's at a crawl.
No easy answers to be found here, just hard work to keep pursuing!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you Danny! This piece is like a light bulb. I am excited to discover "Clallam County Solutions" and look forward to more of it. Here's to building Community!
Thank you, so, much! I also read parts of me. I guess I'm not so alone when others also see themselves! Thank you for putting "community building" into clear words!
Someone referred me to this interview with Sarah McBride that spoke similarly. I think you will also enjoy what she has to say. https://youtu.be/ekjiSliteKU?si=SqsTzAzGs45DcqbC
I'm copy and pasting validating quotes from your piece that spoke directly to me. This is all so well written and authentic. These statements really hit "home runs" for me.
"when someone makes a good-faith effort to explain or clarify and is met not with thoughtful engagement, but with sarcasm, suspicion, and shifting accusations, something valuable is lost."
"Because the deeper threat isn’t just in the spread of blatantly false information, it’s in the erosion of our willingness to believe that honest people still exist."
(My Sequim Pioneer mentors taught me this. We always gave credit for our work to everyone. Meanwhile, we showed appreciation and rewarded those among us who lead us or enabled our success, whatever, that sucess looked like.) :
"Integrity isn’t performative. It doesn’t depend on whether others acknowledge it. It exists in the quiet spaces—when no one is watching, when no one’s clapping, when you choose to do the right thing because it’s right, not because it will be recognized."
(THANK YOU⬆️)
"But it starts with a choice: to see other people not as enemies to outmaneuver, but as neighbors worth listening to—even when we don’t agree."
"That’s the discipline of integrity: not defending it at every turn, but living it consistently enough that it speaks for itself."
"And sometimes, your words are never heard at all, they’re just repurposed to play a part you never agreed to."
"Sometimes, there’s more integrity in letting silence hold the line than in explaining yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding."
"Worse still, we begin to punish sincerity. We mock compassion. We treat humility as weakness and mistake caution for deception. And slowly, the people who were trying to do good—imperfectly, but honestly—start to step back. They get quieter. They get tired."
"Hope isn’t naïve. It’s courageous and it’s the well from which change springs. It’s a conscious choice to keep believing in the value of community, the possibility of progress, and the quiet power of integrity—especially when the easy path would be retreat."
"the health of a community is shaped in part by how we treat those who are trying. Not those who claim certainty in every answer, but those who keep showing up—even when it’s messy—because they care enough to try."
Thank you! This reads like poetry to me!
Thanks so much for reading! This article truly came from the heart, and I'm so thankful that it's resonated with so many people. There's a lot of work to be done in our community, and it takes people willing to jump in and put for the effort. Sometimes it's very rewarding, other times its taxing. But it's always worth it in the end.
Oh, that video is of a performative attack on Sarah McBride for social media clicks in 2019. So, disappointed I posted the wrong link. Here's the interview I meant to post that reflects your words. This was posted 3 days ago. https://youtu.be/KlbNFsAGFRc?si=T46Ewk0jiI--DV5X